Screwed blue and tattooed, mofos....

A 6-year old boy was suspended from school for having a camping tool.  Really....go read about it here.

Suddenly, 6-year old boys are being suspended and facing 45 days in reform school for BRINGING A CAMPING TOOL TO SCHOOL.  

ARE THEY SERIOUS???

It was one of those tools that function as a fork, spoon or knife.  He was exciting about joining the Cub Scouts and decided to bring it to school to eat lunch with.  Anyone with half a brain in their head could see the logic in this.  When my kid got his first light saber the first thing he asked me was whether he could bring it to school or not.  So why is this situation a big fucking deal with the school?  Because apparently, last year a third grader was expelled from the same school for coming to school with a birthday cake and a knife her grandmother provided to cut it.  

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LITTLE ONE.  YOU'VE JUST BEEN EXPELLED BECAUSE NANA THOUGHT YOUR CAKE SHOULD BE CUT BEFORE EATING IT.  ENJOY YOUR SEPARATION FROM EDUCATION AND SOCIETY AT LARGE.

I have a few questions for these school administrators.  First off, what the hell is happening in Newark, Delaware that they need to hold 6-year old kids to a zero tolerance policy that requires them to go to reform school for bringing a camping tool or knife to cut a cake to school?  REFORM FROM WHAT?  I recommend reform for these administrators because they are over-reactive, paranoid head jobs that need to come back to earth.  If there is a problem with knives with birthday cakes, enforce a rule that has parents bringing in the cake and cut it.  Or, how about cupcakes?  Everyone loves cupcakes and there are no knives required.  And the camping tool "problem"?  How about you just confiscate it and have his parent pick it up?  Or, they could always go the other way.  Take all of the pencils away because, you know, they have sharp edges and some kindergartener could go postal and stab the teacher in the foot.  Maybe they should ban scissors, too.  Some second grader may get the need to cut a bitch.   Let's get rid of the staplers, too.  You never know when some pesky 4th grader might viciously staple someone to death.  And since we can't trust the teachers, either, we should take away all of their sharp implements as well.  Sorry, Mrs. Crabtree, no letter openers for you, because you might accidentally fall and stab Sally Sunshine in the tummy.  And forget about your smoke breaks, hand over that lighter!  We don't need you burnin' down the school now, you hear?  

I realize I've gone a bit far here, but you get my point.  How far is this all going to go?  How long are we going to allow everything to scare us into living in a hole away from "danger".  I hate to tell people, but the world isn't that much different.  The difference now is press coverage.  We watch the news and become afraid of everything.  We agonize over the tiniest shit now and it's hindering the quality of life across the board.  I'm not saying some of it isn't justified to a degree, but how the hell do we raise our children to be risk takers if we can't do the same?  We don't need the Taliban or anyone else to terrorize us because we're doing a fine job of it on our own.  

God forbid our kids feel the tiniest bit of pain, disappointment, heartbreak, anger or discomfort.  Don't walk over there, Johnny...you might fall!  Sally, stay close to me!  Don't climb on that, you'll fall and break your neck!  How many of us climbed trees, walked along the tops of fences, rode our bikes in the streets and ended up just fine?  It's like we've gone from a society that accepts 90% risk to one that is obsessed with the preventing the other 10%.  Self-preservation is understandable, but at a certain point it goes too far.  And this school did just that.

There is a reason I am writing about this.  I think this story should serve as a cautionary tale.  Not as a lesson about "weapons", but as about where we are headed as a species if we don't stop self-terrorizing.  I'm not saying we shouldn't make informed decisions, as we all should.  I am, however, saying that we need to tread carefully and make sure we are not raising a future society filled with decayed minds and empty lives.  Let your kid climb that fence....and let him fall.  He'll thank you for it later.